Negotiating

A process that seeks to reach agreement between two or more different starting positions.

Negotiating is an activity that seeks to reach agreement between two or more different starting positions. Everyone has to negotiate from time to time in order to secure enough of what they want - especially when resources are limited. Negotiating is a fascinating process festooned with lessons to learn that transfer to many other types of interaction.

Negotiations have six possible outcomes:

Win - lose
'I'll get my way; you won't get yours'

Lose - win
'You'll probably get your way; I won't get mine'

Lose - lose
'If I can't get my way, I'll make sure you can't get yours'

Win
'I'll secure my way and leave you to see if you can secure yours'

Win - win
'It's not my way or your way - let's look for a better way'

No - deal
'If we can't find a way that benefits us both; let's agree to disagree'

From a learning standpoint win-win negotiations are the best to practise. This is not to imply that the other five possible outcomes are 'wrong' (there are appropriate times for each) merely that the skills required to accomplish a win-win outcome are more considerable and therefore stretch people more.

There are ample opportunities to indulge in win-win negotiations. The negotiations do not have to be with suppliers or customers or union representatives, you can create 'small n' negotiations in a variety of ways. For example, whenever you want something from someone, be it their time, their help, their agreement or a decision, you can negotiate with them. Whenever you need to settle a conflict about resources or a difference of opinion about the best way forward, you can negotiate a win-win resolution.

Here are some of the gems you and others will learn from negotiating:

• the need for thorough homework and knowing the relevant facts, figures and arguments
• the need to start by agreeing a procedure, particularly a purpose, and the importance of starting with some agreements to establish a win-win climate
• the need to exchange brief opening statements spelling out the two starting positions and desired outcomes
• the importance of questions of clarification (not justification), listening and summarising
• how to use 'and' thinking, as opposed to 'either or' thinking
• how to focus on the reasons behind the positions people take up, rather than attacking the positions or the people
• how to explore the pros and cons of all ideas rather than counter-proposing, which is always perceived as disagreeing rather than being constructive
• how to avoid 'irritators', especially exaggerations, and instead stick to the facts and keep the emotional temperature down
• how to disagree constructively by reversing the way people usually disagree, ie not saying 'I disagree because...', but giving the reasons before saying 'I disagree'.

There are numerous other lessons, to do with both tactics and behaviour, to learn from negotiating. Since so many things at work have to be negotiated you might as well encourage the use of win-win behaviours amongst your subordinates. That way, you stand to gain as much as they do.