Asking for Advice

Demonstrating that you value someone's opinion sufficiently to 'pick their brains'/seek their advice.

Every time you ask someone for advice you are providing them with an opportunity to contribute and become more involved than would otherwise be the case. You don't necessarily have to take the advice (though sometimes you might find it sufficiently helpful and wish to do so); it is simply enough to have asked for it.

Asking for advice triggers learning in a number of ways. Firstly, it increases empathy by getting the other person to appreciate things from your point of view. Your adviser needs to put him/herself in your shoes and to see where you are 'coming from'. The ability to empathise is thus practised. Secondly, it increases analytical skills by providing your adviser with the opportunity to ask probing questions to increase their understanding of your situation. Exploring someone else's problem is always rich in learning, partly because of the skills involved in 'getting to the bottom' of things and partly because, in the process, the adviser might discover some salient facts they had not previously known or appreciated. Thirdly, asking for advice provides your adviser with an opportunity to practise his/her skills of persuasion. Whenever someone gives advice, they have the challenge of making it as attractive and acceptable as possible to the receiver of the advice.

So, the simple act of asking for advice is, from a development point of view, a nugget. In a way, the more ignorant and uninformed the person whose advice you seek, the greater the gain from a learning point of view. It is surprising how often someone with a fresh perspective comes up with the germ of a good idea. Even if they don't, it is still worth asking for their advice in order to give them the opportunity to practise the skills listed above.

Asking for advice can be done anywhere at any time. Some people will benefit by being given advance warning and time to collect their thoughts, other people will benefit from something more spontaneous.

There are two perils to guard against which risk diminishing the learning. The first is to ask for advice in a way that sounds as if you have already made up your mind and are merely testing the adviser to see if he/she reaches the same conclusion. If this is the case, then it is far better to come clean, explain your preferred solution and invite them to offer their comments.

The second peril is, having asked for advice, to pour scorn on whatever is forthcoming. It is often tempting to be dismissive (especially if you are better informed than the person whose advice you are seeking) but it risks destroying the whole process. People are unlikely to proffer advice if they find doing so is a bruising experience. You must make sure, therefore, that when you ask for advice you are doing so with the motive of generating a developmental opportunity and not with the hidden motive of showing how clever you are by rubbishing the advice you sought.

Asking advice from another person gives a clear indication that you value that person's opinion and is likely to increase his/her commitment. If, at the same time, you provide a learning opportunity, you must be on to a winner.