Adaptability

Adjusting your behaviour so that it is appropriate to the circumstances or person you are dealing with.

In the course of your life and work you will encounter a wide range of different people: bosses, colleagues, subordinates, customers, suppliers, members of the public, friends, neighbours, relatives, members of your immediate family. People come in all sorts of shapes and sizes, and not just in the physical sense but also behaviourally. You’ll know people who are friendly and others who are reserved and distant; people who are informal, others who are formal; people who are democratic, others who are autocratic; people who are positive, others who are negative, people who are cheerful, those who are glum, and so on.

It follows, therefore, that if you stick rigidly to one fixed behaviour pattern irrespective of whom you are dealing with, it will sometimes be inappropriate ? one mode of behaviour is not going to be sufficiently compatible with everyone you meet. You need to develop some different behaviour mixes so that you build up a repertoire of different behaviours for different circumstances.

You might find it difficult to accept that this is possible. Many people believe that their behaviour is a fixture rather than a mixture. You may feel that your personality sets limits on your behaviour that restrict further adaptability. If you believe this, then to some extent you are right. Clearly the sort of person you are, your personality make-up, does put boundaries around you. But, just like the boundaries round a cricket ground, there is considerable scope and room to manoeuvre within those boundaries. The chances are that you already adapt your behaviour in different circumstances. For example, when you are among friends you probably chatter away quite happily, but when you are with strangers you may clam up and have less to say. The fact that you are capable of chattering in one situation and saying less in another already suggests a certain amount of adaptability.

Behaving appropriately is the essence of interpersonal skills. It takes practice to extend your range of behaviours and, having done so, to judge which mix of behaviours to use on which occasion.